


Promised

by Mari (chamarileon)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Court, Depression, M/M, Panic Attacks, implied rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-04 00:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6632416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chamarileon/pseuds/Mari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The sixth trainee to debut is.. I.M. Congratulations!" Those eight words felt like a bullet to the chest. I wanted to debut with all my might but as soon as I was set to do so, I realised that this would be my downfall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Did someone order an angsty character background? Hope you enjoy it! Thank you for reading! xx - Mari

“The sixth trainee to debut is.. I.M. Congratulations.”

 

Those eight words felt like a bullet to the chest. I wanted to debut with all my might but as soon as I was set to do so, I realised that this would be my downfall.

 

I looked up briefly, making terrifying eye contact with Kim Hokeon. I froze in fear and the world was seemed to be spinning. Later I’d tell the No.Mercy cameras that I felt dizzy from the news of being chosen, but in reality, I was afraid. So fucking afraid.

 

I remember Jooheon once asked me, “Were you promised to debut?”

 

“No,” I said.

 

It was true, kind of. I didn’t want to be promised. Instead it just happened without my consent. What was I meant to do? Ruin my chances? Instead I kept quiet. The tears shed when Jooheon and I spoke was ultimately in guilt and fear.

 

All because I technically was promised to debut from a P.D. named Kim Hokeon.

 

Tension rolled off in waves from the male standing next to me, Hyungwon. I could feel it from everyone, honestly. I took a spot that, if not for me, would have been #GUN’s. I messed up what they tried to create.

 

As we all returned to the dormitories to pack, I realised the one who may have taken it the worst was the one I had lied to. Jooheon.

 

I felt so incredibly sorry that I took such an important spot.

 

Everyone knew it wasn’t really my fault. I didn’t take a guaranteed spot and I couldn’t predict what people would choose.

 

But then it was my fault. Had I not been there, I wouldn’t have been forced into a promise.

 

A promise that broke down every wall I had.

 

Everyone remained silent. Occasionally Minhyuk would go to speak, but quickly closed his mouth right after.

 

It felt like my arrival all over. No one would speak to me. They just couldn’t. And so I was left alone again.

 

Everyone was free to return home once they were packed. Jooheon left with #GUN and Minhyuk followed. Hyungwon was next. Everyone continued to file out one by one until only Kihyun and I were left.

 

“You really fucked things up for us.”

 

I swallowed and nodded without turning around. “I know.”

 

A small sigh left the other’s lips and he came over to my side, taking a shirt and folding it to place into my suitcase.

 

I hadn’t even realised I had stopped packing.

 

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

 

Kihyun raised an eyebrow, glancing to me.

 

“What?”

 

“I didn’t mean to take the spot. I didn’t. I really..” I trailed off, keeping my eyes focused on the clothing I was packing.

 

“I’m not the one to apologise to,” he stated before exiting the dorms and leaving me alone.

 

I blinked back some tears and packed the last of my belongings before leaving for home.

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

The next time we all met was inside the dormitory for the new group Monsta X.

 

I was the fourth to arrive there. Jooheon, Minhyuk, and Hyunwoo had already gotten there. I bowed my greeting before running off, despite the forced welcomes, to take the farthest room from the living room I possibly could. Whoever arrived last would likely be my roommate.

 

Jooheon and Hyunwoo had decided to share a room while Minhyuk and I still had our own rooms.

 

When Hyungwon arrived, he huffed out a small, “I’ll just go with Minhyuk.”

 

And then Wonho went with the two to “continue the tradition of the visuals”.

 

That left Kihyun. He had yet to show up even after everyone had been settled in for at least two hours.

 

“Maybe he isn’t planning to be part of the group?” Jooheon questioned with a quick glance in my direction.

 

I knew he was implying he hadn’t been happy about my announcement. Kihyun had been the most pissed off over my arrival to the show, afterall. I made a beeline to my room.

 

I had already put everything in it’s respective place and taken the bed on the right side of the room.

 

I had laid down on the bed just as the door opened and I heard a familiar sigh.

 

I turned over to see Kihyun place his bags down on the floor by the other bed.

 

“Hello,” I greeted quietly.

 

I was unsure if he had heard me and decided to turn back around before I heard a small, “Hey.”

 

I glanced up at the other male before staring at the oh-so-interesting blankets beneath me.

 

“I got stuck rooming with you, huh?”

 

I nodded guiltily. “I’m sorry.”

 

Kihyun immediately looked over, rolling his eyes. “If you’re so sorry, do something about it. Leave, sleep on the couch, I don’t care.”

 

“.. I’m sorry.”

 

He groaned and left immediately after.

 

I sighed and smacked myself on the forehead with the back of my hand before slowly drifting off.

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

The next time I awoke, my phone was buzzing like crazy. I groaned lightly and clicked the answer button on the phone.

 

“Hello?”

 

“You haven’t forgotten our deal, right?” the voice on the other end questioned.

 

I took a moment to swallow and reply, “No..”

 

“Usual spot. Be here in 30 minutes.”

 

The call disconnected afterwards. I took shallow breaths. I deserved this. Who cares how it started any more? I just have to deal with it.

 

I quickly dressed and made myself look presentable before exiting into the hall. The clock on the wall said it was about eight at night.

 

As soon as I reached the door, Hyunwoo stopped me.

 

“Where are you going? It’s our first night here.”

 

I turned around and offered a small (read fake) small. “Uhm, a friend wanted to see me. I’ll only be gone about an hour..”

 

The leader sighed and nodded, walking off in the opposite direction.

 

I took the opportunity to leave. Hokeon would not take kindly to being late. I ran the entire way to the hotel.

 

As soon as I made it to the designated room, I was pulled inside. My cries were muffled immediately.

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

It was nearing ten when I finally got away. The moment I stepped foot into the dormitories, two pairs of eyes landed on me.

 

“Uhm, sorry I took so long,” I quietly mumbled, attempting to pass Wonho and Hyunwoo.

 

Wonho stuck his arm out immediately, preventing me from going into the hallway with all of the rooms.

 

“You should’ve called to say you’d be home later than planned,” he stated.

 

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll do that next time,” I replied, looking down.

 

Both males sighed, finally allowing me to pass. I quickly went into my room, only briefly forgetting Kihyun was there.

 

I took a deep breath, eyes shut, only to look up and see the older male staring with a raised eyebrow.

 

I immediately looked away, offering no explanation.

 

Eventually I was laying in my bed again, snuggled into several layers of blankets. All I wanted to do was sleep. But instead I found myself silently tearing up.

 

This must have continued for a good thirty minutes before exhaustion finally caught up, and I passed out.  
  


☆ ☆ ☆

 

I awoke to birds chirping and too much sun shining through the window.

 

How unlike my mood. “How ironic,” I mumbled.

 

“Did you say something?”

 

I sat up, startled. Suddenly where I was and who I was with came rushing back.

 

“No, nothing.”

 

“If you say so. Breakfast will be ready soon.” He then slipped out of the room.

 

I nodded just before he left. Slipping out of the covers, I went over to the drawers and found a change of clothing.

 

As soon as I was dressed, I ran my fingers through my hair and stepped out of the room.

 

The aroma of pancakes filled the air. I sniffed subtly while going over to the kitchen.

 

Kihyun flipped some pancakes in the pan before returning to the pancakes already cooked and placed a couple bananas on each.

 

“Do you want some help?”

 

The older glanced up at me and beckoned me over.

 

“Sure, just add three slices on top of each. Add a chocolate drizzle, too.”

 

Nodding, I quietly set to work.

 

Eventually Hyungwon came bustling through the door. “I smell chocolate.”

 

“You seriously smelled chocolate more than the pancakes?” Wonho questioned as he followed after the younger.

 

“Obviously.”

 

I snorted lightly under my breath. Kihyun glanced at me but said nothing. Strange.

 

The four of us set out the plates and food, sitting down as soon as everyone had come to the table.

 

It was a given that I wasn’t part of the conversation. In fact, they just pretended I wasn’t there. Everyone except Kihyun. I guess I just annoyed him enough that he had to keep glancing at me.

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

The rest of the day went on fairly quiet. In fact, the entire month was eerily quiet in my case. Why hadn’t Hokeon said anything? The question constantly bugged me. It’s not as if I wanted the bastard to say anything but the silence was overbearing.

 

At this point in time, we had practised our debut song “Trespass” and got the dance memorised. Wasn’t perfect, but it was a start. My mental distractions led me to staying late each night to practise though.

 

The tension between Kihyun and I had become obvious to everyone. He didn’t want to room with me but had to and so he wasn’t the nicest person. Kihyun was constantly snapping at me.

 

And this time I was being cornered in a room.

 

“Why are you so distracted?”

 

I swallowed lightly and looked anywhere but at the male in front of me.

 

“I’m not. I’m just bad at this.”

 

Kihyun sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Changkyun, I know you’re not bad at this.”

 

“Well, maybe I am and you just don’t know me well enough.”

 

“I’m constantly watching you! I know you’re distracted, so tell me what the hell is so important that you can’t focus on our debut!” Kihyun grit out.

 

“I..” I paused, eyes still avoiding his. And then I saw him. I froze on the spot, eyes widening slightly.

 

“H-hyung, please get off of me.”

 

“What?”

 

“Get off,” I repeated, breathing becoming laboured.

 

“Changkyun, what the hell is–“ he began.

 

Everything became noise as Hokeon’s sinister smirk came into view through the window.

 

I let out a small squeak in fear and slid down, closing in around myself.

 

Not now. Not now. Not now.

 

“Changkyun, what is going on?” Kihyun tried again, now squatting in front of me, lightly reaching out for my arms.

 

I pressed myself further into the corner as my phone buzzed. I shakily took the item out of my pocket and looked down to see a text.

 

“I don’t think I said that you could be alone with anyone else. I guess you don’t even get preparation this time.”

 

And then the tears began. I let out a frustrated yell while Kihyun gently tried to shush me.

 

"No, no, no," I repeated quietly. The situation then hit me. Kihyun saw.

 

I quickly stood and bolted from the room, shutting myself into the closest bathroom.


	2. Secretive

I laid in bed full awake. How the hell would I explain that? How do I handle it? Maybe I could just.. not?

 

I shook my head. 'As if I could just ignore it,' I thought bitterly. I already knew Kihyun would never let me off.

 

Ah, speak of the devil. Kihyun quietly entered the room and crept over. I kept my eyes shut as I faced the wall.

 

"Changkyun, I know you're awake."

 

I let out a fake snore. A very obvious fake snore.

 

The older sighed and ran a hand over his face, taking a seat on the bed. "I won't keep asking if you really aren't comfortable with it. I know I'm probably the last person you'd want to share this with. Just.. know I'm here, yeah?"

 

I nodded so softly that anyone besides the male would miss. He pat my shoulder twice and stood, lifting the weight from my bed.

 

I did not have a peaceful sleep.

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

 Several days had passed since the incident. And a day had passed since Hokeon lived up to his threat. I groaned as my backside throbbed.

 

I had finally gotten out of bed after the persistence of Minhyuk. He seemed convinced I was going to be pronounced dead if I didn't get up that second.

 

Kihyun, the observant mother of the group, saw every single one of my winces and quiet sobs.

 

He never mentioned it though. He knew it would hurt me more if he did.

 

Keeping the secret from everyone else was the challenge. Hyungwon seemed keen on using my phone for selcas and Wonho joined in. Minhyuk was overly energetic and tried to see how much physical activity I'd do. Hyunwoo didn't really do anything to jeopardise my efforts. And Jooheon wanted my efforts in creating and practising raps.

 

 What did I want to do? Sleep. Sleep, eat, shit, repeat. I wanted to feel at peace and hell if I did when I was awake.

 

Kihyun, bless his soul, was the only one who seemed to realise this. He'd "force" me to sleep before it got late and would only get me up when everyone else had woken up. Or he'd supposedly forget to wake me up.

 

Ah, if only life were that simple though.

 

The entire time I received harassing phone calls and texts. Threats, warnings, etc. I was called out time and time again. And everyone had noticed it.

 

"If I keep going out, the others will figure it out."

 

"Let them. Afterall, you're a fucking slut anyways," the disgusting P.D. slurred out.

 

He was drunk every time he called for me. Apparently it helped him imagine a beautiful woman there. Why fuck a pretty male when you could go get an actual woman? Well, the time I asked I nearly landed in the hospital.

 

"Oh, and cutie?"

 

I hummed in response. Silence.

 

"Use your fucking words, slut."

 

I quietly sighed. "Yes?"

 

"Remember, if anyone finds out, I will personally make you and all your little friends fall from fame."

 

I barely nodded before I was kicked back out onto the streets to find my way home. 

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

"Are you alright?"

 

Shaking my head, I sniffled and let a small sob escape into my pillow.

 

"Shh, come here."

 

Kihyun enveloped me in his arms and pressed himself to my back. Another sob escaped.

 

Kihyun sighed softly, knowing he couldn't help.

 

"I thought—" Hiccup. "—you hated—" Hiccup. "—me?"

 

A small hand ran its fingers through my hair. "I never hated you, Changkyun. I was pissed off. You came to No.Mercy over half-way through. All of us were pissed."

 

I turned around to face the shorter.

 

"But everyone else forgave me before you."

 

"Maybe I didn't like you, then."

 

I let out a small scoff. "Okay, hyung."

 

Kihyun looked over me for a moment, eyebrows slightly knit together. I raised an eyebrow in question. "Uhm.."

 

"I think that's the first time I've heard you call me that. You were always really formal."

 

"You scared me."

 

"I don't now?"

 

"No."

 

"Damn it. I lost my only advantage," Kihyun sighed out jokingly.

 

I shook my head and smiled lightly. "Nah, you still have your voice."  _And looks_ , I thought to myself in a moment of honesty.

 

I shook off the thought immediately, seeing as Kihyun had begun to doze off.

 

"Good night, hyung," I mumbled before drifting off to sleep as well.

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

Kihyun awoke before me.

 

Buzz. Buzz.

 

He looked at my phone, eyes knit in confusion. "8pm, usual hotel..? The hell does that mean?" he quietly mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

 

He scrolled through the messages, learning more each message and becoming increasingly horrified.

 

"Oh God.."

 

I stirred slightly, causing Kihyun to quickly exit out of the messaging app and put the phone down.

 

"G'morning.." I groaned, trying to block the light out with my hands.

 

"Good morning," the older greeted back quietly. Too quietly.

 

I moved my hands to see him staring at me with the most worried expression I had ever come across.

 

"Hyung, what's wrong?"

 

He stayed quiet, as if contemplating.

 

"Uhm, no, nothing. Don't worry about it."

 

"Oh, okay."

 

Kihyun kept quiet. He saw the threats, he knew how it would hurt me to hear he had found out.

 

Kihyun, however, went straight to Hyunwoo.

 

"What the fuck do I do?! I wasn't meant to see that! I mean, I want to save him but I know he doesn't want me to know. None of us! And I just told you, fuck!"

 

Later on I'd become surprised he had any hair left.

 

"We have to report it. We haven't debuted yet. If he tries anything, it'll be taken care of before we become a well-known group."

 

The prior male simply nodded. "Yeah, yeah. You're right. But Changkyun needs to know first."

 

Hyunwoo sighed.

 

"You go to him. I'll warn the others of the possible consequences."

 

"Okay."

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

When Kihyun finally came to me, it was just past 6PM.

 

"Hey, can I talk to you?"

 

I hummed; an automatic response.

 

“I’m.. about to bring up what happened.”

 

I immediately stiffened and glanced up at the older. He wouldn’t bring up the studio, right? “W-what.. happened?” I stuttered out.

 

He sighed, slowly sinking to take a seat by me. Just the reaction confirmed my fears.

 

“Please, don’t bring this –“

 

“Changkyun. I don’t need to know what caused that. I do know about.. that,” he slowly stated, nodding towards my phone.

 

I closed my eyes and slowly breathed out through my nose.

 

“You can’t say anything. You know that, right?”

 

“I have to.”

 

“Why?!” I practically screamed. “Why? Why does everyone have to know how pathetic I am in reality? Why does everyone have to know how fucking used I am?”

 

Kihyun’s eyebrows were drooped in concern with his mouth slightly open at this point.

 

“Changkyun –“

 

“Please don’t ‘Changkyun’ me. I don’t think I can handle it,” I whispered out before getting up to leave.

 

Just as I was halfway to the door the smaller quietly stated, “The others already know by now.”

 

I paused, slowly turning around.

 

“They.. know?”

 

He dropped his face into his hands. “Yes. I’m sorry. I asked Hyunwoo for advice and he went to the others while I came to you. I’m sorry. I know you don’t want other people knowing. I know this but I just,” he sighed exasperatedly before continuing. “I just can’t watch this happen to you. None of us will be able to.”

 

My face went blank.

 

“If you saw the messages, then you know his threat, don’t you?” I questioned.

 

Kihyun nodded softly. “I know.”

 

“Then why? Why would you jeopardise your future, everyone’s, to do this? No one wanted me here anyways. You wanted me here the least.”

 

“We all want you here. I’ve told you before that we were all very stressed out. You’re part of our team, whether you like it or not,” he said, slightly smiling.

 

I shuffled back over to the bed and took a seat again.

 

“How am I meant to face the others?”

 

Kihyun placed an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his small frame. “Just like usual. They won’t think any differently. Promise.”

 

I nodded softly.

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

Meanwhile, Hyunwoo had gathered everyone aside from the two in the living room. He quietly, and quickly, explained the situation.

 

Jooheon was the first to respond.

 

“He’s kept that quiet for a long time then,” he thoughtlessly mumbled, thinking back to the time they spoke in the practice room.

 

Hyungwon ran a hand over his face and simply nodded in understanding while Wonho stared ahead, face contorted in displeasure.

 

“And, guys, I know this could hurt all of our careers. But Changkyun is getting hurt in worse ways than that right now. Please be supportive during this time,” Hyunwoo pleaded.

 

Minhyuk nodded in understanding. “Alright, yeah. I’d rather he’s safe than anything right now.”

 

The group talked a bit more when they heard a door creak.

 

Each male looked over to the hallway where I was half hidden behind Kihyun with my hand clamped in a stone grip around the older’s.

 

“Hey, Changkyun,” Jooheon greeted with a small smile.

 

I softly nodded back his greeting.

 

Kihyun softly pulled me into the living room and pulled me onto the floor with him. Everyone was silent for a moment before Minhyuk started laughing awkwardly. “Aha, so.. uh.. family bonding, right?”

 

Kihyun slowly lifted his eyes to stare at the younger.

 

“N-no?” he nervously asked, clearly uncomfortable with the silence.

 

Had anyone been speaking, they’d have missed my small apology.

 

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “It’s my fault you guys are having difficulty..”

 

Hyungwon almost immediately interjected his thoughts on the matter. “You haven’t done anything wrong.. We understand and we’re all going to stick together through this.”

 

Everyone agreed in their own way, leaving me to cry into Kihyun’s arms again.

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

Within the next week we had spoken to our manager about it. He agreed to have it looked into after a lot of sighing and upset comments. By the time he had investigated in it, even having people follow me to the hotel to see for themselves, he and the lawyer he’d hired had begun gathering evidence. Messages, pictures, even DNA.

 

And of course, me. I was the core evidence. My testimony and my memories.

 

Everything was numbing. I hadn’t even cried since the process began.

 

Every night I stayed curled up with Kihyun absent mindedly running his fingers through my hair; assuring me that Hokeon wouldn’t be able to harm me, and that no, I was not a fuck up for creating a mess.

 

When the day finally arrived, it took a good hour to get me out of bed.

 

“I’ll get Minhyuk if you don’t get the hell out of bed this instant,” Kihyun threatened. “And he will show you what no mercy really means!”

 

I groaned and stuck a hand out to grab the smaller’s wrist. He let out a small yelp in surprise as I pulled him down and into the covers with me.

 

“I said get up, not cuddle me!” he protested.

 

“And I don’t wanna,” I replied, throwing a leg over him.

 

“This isn’t fair! You have a height advantage!”

 

I smiled a little and made the older face me. “I know, so hear me out for a moment?”

 

I took the silence that pursued as a green light.

 

“I wanted to say thank you. No matter how today turns out, you helped me a lot. You kept quiet about seeing my breakdown, despite not liking me, and then went to others to help me when you found out what was going on. I know I got unreasonably upset over that at the time, but I appreciate everything you’ve done,” I confessed before pressing a small kiss to Kihyun’s nose.

 

He blinked. And blinked some more. I think he was stuck on the kiss.

 

“Well, I’m getting up now.”

 

I quickly got up, practically running away.

 

‘What the fuck did I just do?’ I thought as soon as I was shut in the bathroom.

 

The wall looked really inviting for my head to slam again at that moment. But I ultimately decided against it. Maybe another time. When I don’t need all of my memories.

 

I was ready before I was mentally ready. Soon we had all left and headed for the courthouse, where I’d meet Kim Hokeon as a defendant.


	3. Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER : I am not a legal student. I do not know all of the court procedures. I used my past drama knowledge but DID look up the official charges and verdict statement. That is all correct.

Surprisingly, the trip to the courthouse had been full of jokes and messing around. Everyone was attempting to help cheer me up. Kihyun participated, even after the event from before.

 

Everything seemed like it would be alright. At least I hoped so.

 

We filed out of the van, making our way into the waiting section. Very little noise passed through our group now. All I could think about was how Hokeon would arrive soon, unless he wanted more problems than he’d get.

 

Speaking of the devil, the male came into the building. He looked confident. And all I could do was shut my eyes, bowing my head down to avoid being seen.

 

In the next moment I felt a presence in front of me. I took a deep breath and slowly lifting my head up, expecting my source of fear and agony to be before me. Instead, however, was the exact opposite.

 

Kihyun stood in front of me without a word, as if he understood exactly what I needed at that moment.

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

Eventually it was time for the trial. I quickly made my way over to the stand to avoid any contact with the current defendant. He seemed to be so confident in himself, walking slow and deliberate.

 

I knew crying at this stage would be pointless.

 

 _'Just get through this,'_ I thought bitterly.

 

Oaths were taken by everyone partaking in the trial before we began. When the judge asked the defendant for his plea, the man made direct eye contact with me while his lawyer stood to speak.

 

“We plea.. not guilty.”

 

My stone-like expression broke for a moment. I could feel the pain felt for me radiating from the watcher’s stands.

 

“We will proceed with the trial,” the judge announced.

 

And so proceed we did. The prosecution handed over my phone (which wouldn’t be after all of this) and let him scroll through the messages. The old male asked Hokeon for his phone and called the number.

 

"I’m sorry, but this number has been disconnected.”

 

He then attempted to call his phone with mine, and ring it did. I watched as the lawyer and Hokeon made short eye contact as if to say “we got them”.

 

The prosecution then gave a set of documents to the judge. The documents held a detailed record of every phone call the phone had recorded by itself.

 

The man of confidence deflated slightly. He further lost his confidence when more and more evidence was presented. DNA taken off of my body and CCTVs for example. Even the one CCTV I’d prefer the rest of the group had not seen.

 

I put my face in my hands, my face flashing a flaming red from being ashamed, as footage of the things Hokeon had forced me to do was displayed. The sound was luckily muted. I don’t think I could face the others after if there had been audio.

 

Even the jury had looked at me in pity.

 

The trial continued, back and forth until the lawyers finally put in their final statement.

 

The judge eventually adjourned the court for a good 30 minutes while he made his decision.

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

Pacing.

 

All I did for a while was pace. There was no way Hokeon would be let free, right? Or maybe he would–

 

My thoughts were cut short by a hand landing on my forearm. I looked up from my pensive state to see Kihyun gazing at me with concern. In that moment I knew my state of calmness was being broken through and the smaller male could see every insecurity and fear I withheld.

 

He motioned his head for me to follow me. I did as told and quietly shuffled behind him out into the court’s outdoor garden. The place was deserted of humans.

 

Eventually Kihyun took a seat on a stone bench and pat the seat by him. I let myself fall onto the bench and deflated a little.

 

The two of us remained silent before the other male finally spoke. “Are you going to be alright?”

 

“What? If he’s let free?” I questioned.

 

He shook his head before replying, “No, he’ll definitely get locked away. The evidence is too much. Especially the uh,” he paused, looking worriedly at me, “especially with the video.”

 

I let out a dry laugh.

 

“I meant will you be alright going back in?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

“You’re obviously embarrassed by the evidence and he could easily make threats while being hauled off. Granted, he won’t be able to make good of them but..” he trailed off.

 

I stared at the ground, counting each blade of leaf as a distraction mechanism.

 

I jumped slightly as Kihyun’s hand came into contact with mine and intertwined our fingers. I immediately looked at the male.

 

“Let me at least do this for you.”

 

I nodded, using the other hand to wipe at the tears that had begun to form in the corners of my eyes. Kihyun brought his free hand up and pushed my head onto his shoulder, rubbing his thumb over our locked hands.

 

“It’ll be okay,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head.

 

I let him comfort me for the last few minutes before the trial resumed.

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

As soon as everyone was seated and ready to proceed, the judge pulled out papers, documents I assume.

 

He cleared his throat and began his announcement, asking a member of the jury to read off their verdict.

 

I held my breath as the next few sentences were said.

 

“We, the Jury, on one count, find the defendant, Kim Hokeon, guilty of first degree sexual assault against Im Changkyun, as charged in the indictment.”

 

Silent sobs suddenly racked my body as I fell to the floor in relief. The only thing I could hear was static and the quiet cries of celebration from the rest of the group.

 

All I could mutter was “thank you” while the guilty screamed in angry, hurling curses and meaningless threats at me.

 

The moment the court was officially dismissed I flung myself into Kihyun’s arms and sobbed.

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

The public never heard about the case. Months passed and I healed little by little. Monsta X debuted, we created music and created close bonds. A lot had changed because of the unfortunate events that lead to it.

 

The one thing that hadn’t changed much was my relationship with Kihyun. He still kept a close watch and would come find me whenever he felt like I needed it. How he knew when I did, I’d never know.

 

The thing that seemed to change the most was how I felt about the older.

 

I laid in bed, groaning in frustration as I thought about my attempt of running away from Kihyun when he trapped me to ask what was distracting me. _'How nostalgic,'_ I thought with a snort.

 

“Changkyun! Where’d you go?!” the hamster-like male yelled out.

 

“Fuck,” I groaned, choosing to hide under my covers.

 

The door flew open and the older huffed out. “I know you’re under your covers. Not a good hiding place.”

 

I shuffled under the covers in reply before a weight landed on me. I let out a small oof! and whined. “Hyung, get off of me!”

 

“Nah. Tell me why you’re so distracted during dinner and maybe I’ll move?”

 

I quickly moved, shoving Kihyun off to the unoccupied part of the bed, crossing my arms under the covers.

 

“Oh, c’mon! Pleaaase?”

 

“You might kill me if you knew it was you,” I mumbled to myself. The older missed my statement though and wrapped his arms and legs around my blanketed figure.

 

“I won’t judge you for whatever it is! Wait.. is it my food? Is it really bad? Wait, are you actually dying and too afraid to tell anyone?!” he began guessing, gasping as he thought of the stupidest things.

 

“No!” I exclaimed in fake annoyance.

 

“If it’s not my food.. and you’re not dying.. Do you like someone?” he guessed.

 

I stayed silent, hesitating to give an answer.

 

“Who, who, who? I will bother you for the rest of your life if you don’t tell me!” he threatened, finally breaking my blanket shield and pulling it away.

 

I reached for my blanket in protest before he wrapped his arms under me and got on top of me.

 

“Who?”

 

My eyes widened a fraction at the position and gulped nervously. “N-no one.”

 

Kihyun groaned and rolled his eyes. “Lies,” he mumbled, leaned down, hair slightly touching my forehead.

 

“Fuck it.”

 

I wrapped my arms around him, rolling us over so I was on top of him, firmly planted between his legs. “Why are you so desperate to know?” I finally asked.

 

“I.. uhm..” he stammered, eyes making a quick glance to my lips. “J-just curious. I’ll just leave it alone if you really want –“

 

I sighed and moved one hand from under him to place it over his mouth.

 

“I like you,” I stated matter-of-factly, removing my hand.

 

Kihyun stayed quiet before dumbly asking, “What?”

 

I leaned down a fraction more, “I said..” I leaned further. “That I like..” A fraction more. “You,” I finally finished, a breath away from Kihyun’s lips.

 

The smaller male stared at my lips while inaudibly whispering, “Oh.”

 

Neither of us moved from that position for a while; Kihyun staring at my lips, my eyes scanning his face.

 

Eventually, assuming this was a bad idea, I tried pulling away, only to be stopped short by a very hard grip on the back of my shirt and a pleading stare from the older.

 

I swallowed hard, leaning forward slightly more, ghosting my lips above his, before completely connecting our lips.

 

Soft. His lips were soft and felt like a lock’s key against mine. They just go together. It was more than anything I had ever imagined, and yet everything I had.

 

Our lips moved together in slow, synced ways. It was a first kiss in ever way but awkward.

 

Growing a little more bold I traced the seam of his lips with my tongue, earning an immediate opening. I let our tongues dance together, never growing tired.

 

We pulled away only long enough to gather our breath before connected our lips again, each time a little longer. A little more needier. A little more desperate.

 

I moved my hands to caress his cheeks, shoulders, and down to his waist.

 

Right as Kihyun moaned a little, the door burst open and Minhyuk screamed into the living room.

 

“Hey, honey buns! You owe Jooheon five bucks! They’re totally making out!”

 

We separated in surprise and looked at the disturbance. The disturbance that slowly turned into five disturbances.

 

“Uhh,” fell out of my mouth dumbly.

 

“I bet Changkyun tops,” Hyungwon stated.

 

“I bet Kihyun is into some kin–“ Hoseok began before Hyunwoo shushed them all.

 

“Okay, we’ve interrupted them enough. Out, out. And my name isn't honey buns,” the leader gently demanded while pushing them out, closing the door behind him.

 

“W..were they betting on our hooking up or..?” the older questioned, blinking slowly as he stared at the door.

 

I finally turned my face back towards the male below me, eyes and face screwed up in embarassment. “I think so.”

 

“Huh. Well, we haven’t hooked up but..” he began, pushing me while he sat up. “You’re free to continue where we left off later.”

 

I laughed as Kihyun got up and walked to the door, waiting for me.

 

I got up, nodding an agreement.

 

“Good! Just remember, you _promised_.”


End file.
